Let me preface this by saying, this does not pertain to all men. If you are doing what you need to do, then disregard this. If you aren’t, then maybe you need to re-evaluate your position. That’s totally up to you. Also, this is not intended for women that are not up on their game either. This is for the women that are doing thier best, to put their best foot forward. For those of you who aren’t, then maybe you need to re-evaluate your position as well.
Man was created in God’s image. And we have been sliding backwards every since. We have stopped thinking as individuals, and have let society, our boys, and entertainment figures dictate our lifestyles. We are more concerned with being seen as tough and strong in front of our boys, than being vulnerable and loving to our women. We have allowed rappers to dictate the way we dress, instead of our President. We have not only stopped seeking role models, but have also stopped being role models. We have gotten to the point where we are actually looking for credit for not going to jail, not hitting women, and raising our kids. We actually want credit for doing what we are SUPPOSED to do. How sad is that?
I look at the amount of time women put into looking good when they go out. They make sure their nails, hair and clothes are tight, their purses match, and some go so far (and thank you so much for this) as to even make sure their underwear matches. Those are the kinds of things they do. But us….
I go to a comedy show on Tuesday nights when I’m in town. Ladies, I can see the distinct difference in the amount of preparation you put into yourselves and that amount that we do. But it isn’t just there. I can go to events all over town and see how lazy we have gotten. I get so sick of hearing us say, “I just want to be comfortable, it’s not that big a deal”. I hear women complain about how their heels hurt their feet, and how they spend hours at the salon getting their hair right, and the money the spend in mani/ pedis. We give them so little return in their investment.
Ladies, I would like to apologize on behalf of the men that don’t put the same thought and work into themselves as you do to you. I apologize that we have gotten so lazy that we can actually brag that we don’t own a single suit, but we have the newest Air Jordans, and shiny rims on our cars. I apologize that we can’t take you to a nice restaurant and treat you like Cinderella because our wardrobe consists of tee shirts, jeans, and big chains. I’m sorry we can’t give you culture by taking you to the theater or the symphony, because our cultural knowledge is limited to the likes of Lil Wayne, Young Jeezy, Trey Songz. I sorry we don’t write love songs anymore. I’m sorry that all of our slow songs are musical descriptions of how we will do you with our clothes off, but not about how we will treat you with our clothes on. I’m sorry that we will commit every weekend to watching the games, but won’t go to church with you. I’m sorry we outnumber you in the club and at the game, but you outnumber us in church and in college. I’m sorry we ask you to be ready when we get there, but we never show up on time. I’m sorry that we don’t give you fair warning when plans change. I’m sorry that the only time we treat you like a woman is when we are trying to get out of the doghouse, or into you pants. I’m sorry we treat you like you’re second to the things we care about, until another man comes along. Then we treat you like a queen until he’s gone. Then we go back to being the same person we were. I’m sorry we aren’t better role models to the next generation of men. I’m sorry our vocabulary is only increased when new rap slang becomes hot. I’m sorry we aren’t the leaders we once were. I’m sorry we don’t make you proud of us like the generation before us. I’m sorry we give you so much information to use in your man bashing sessions. I’m sorry you have to go out with your girls to have fun because we don’t take you anywhere. I’m sorry we have gotten so lazy with our appearance that when a man actually does pay attention to the way he dresses. He’s called a metrosexual. We have actually made paying attention to the complete package as a man a negative. I’m sorry you put so much work into looking good for us, but we give you so little. That you get breast implants, weaves, manicures and pedicures, liposuction, and try ever diet under the sun to look good for us, but we won’t put half that effort into you. I’m sorry we go out with our boys and have a great time, but we crucify you when you want to go out with your girls. I’m sorry we know the stats for every player in our fantasy league, but can’t remember your birthday, favorite color, or our wedding anniversary. I’m sorry we will spend hundreds of dollars on golf and strip clubs, but won’t buy you flowers (unless it’s a special occasion), or take you to dinner if the tab is gonna be over $100.
I will take it upon myself to apologize for all of these shortcomings and idiosyncrasies, even though most don’t even apply to me. But I will also like to add this. There are good men out there. Excellent men. Men that will be everything you want. Everything you could ask for. Men that take it upon themselves to be the men God called them to be. They pay attention to your needs. They’re there when you need them. They always have your back. When times are rough, they got you. When you need to cry, they have a dry shoulder. When you need to talk, they have an open ear. When you need a hug, they have open arms. They will never disrespect you. They will always be there for you. They will cherish you. They will love you. And they will be a man you can be proud of.
If you have a man like that now- tell him you love him. Tell him you appreciate him. Show him how much you appreciate him. There is a shortage of men to be proud of these days, and the list is shortening everyday. We may act tough, be we need affection too. We want to love too. We want to know we are noticed and appreciated just like you do. We get tired of seeing you accept lesser treatment, by pathetic men, but find ways to disregard the good ones. If you have a good man in your life. Let him know. He doesn’t have to be your man. He can be your friend that is always there for you. He can be the guy that listens through everyone of your bad relationships. He could be the guy at work that you can always open up to. Whomever he is, give him the respect and courtesy of saying thank you to him. Thank him for not being one of the men I had to apologize for. It may make his day. Until next time….
God bless and dress well,